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Music is a soulmate people fail to understand...

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I'm going to be up front about it and was thinking tonight just how much
music has helped me cope in so many ways either through break ups, bad
relationships, health issues, lonliness, death and just life. Rarely do I meet 
people who I can connect too or relate too so I'm the odd duck out hence 
why I'm such an isolated person. People don't get the pain I've been though,
life experiences or get my sense of humor. Maybe two or three people on the 
entire planet some what has a general idea what or who I am. Music has been
important in helping me cope with things in bad times or when I feel alone 
which is pretty much all the time especially latley.  My music, movies and Tv 
shows I watch all depend on the mood I am in. If I'm not in the mood for it I
simply cannot focus plain and simple. It's hard to explain and yes I am a very
very weird individual.  Probably  why most of society hates me I don't play by 
their rules or conform to customs or really fit in anywhere…

Royal weddings and a cynical opinion...

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First off if you're easily offended and don't like what I say scroll on elsewhere
as my opinion will not change and all I will do is laugh at you if you complain
how I stepped on your little feelings. I do not sugarcoat for anyone so if you
got a problem with it I really do not care. To each their own on opinions and
opinions are like assholes everyone has one. Moving on the stupid media has
been covering the royal wedding of Prince Harry and some chick as if alot of
Americans give two shits. Alot of us didn't bother watching as like I didn't watch
his brother's and Kate's back in 2011. I had the same feelings while in the hospital
when everyone talked about it and it was all on tv. Shut up, shut up, shut up some
of us have better things to worry or care about that two nincompoop's do. However
since the media and people expect us to care then expect negative opinions and some
hilarious jokes and some snark along the way. People are people and we will hate o…

When it rains it pours...

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I need to vent and don't care who sees it because i have very little social
interactions or validations. Okay this day started off good husband and I
arguing over finances and how to do things as  usual. He's pushy on his opinion
and I stick to mine so we're both stubborn as hell and think  each other idea is
the better one. I wanted to move to keep a roof over our head soon and got 
approved for an apartment and he wanted to put the car in the shop. Well
today the car gave out so i guess he wins but we also might both lose if no
one will work with us on the apartment. We might have to stay here a month
or so and try to replace this piece of junk if they allow it but also may lose
the new apartment which maybe be cheaper and more convinent which is
next to walmart and a gas station. The nearest store now is like a mile and
the gas stations are blocks and blocks away so here it isn't convinent with
no vehicle so we're screwed and probably can't get any loans considering
stil…

When did men become women and women men?

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And before anyone thinks this is about trannies it's not so no need to gather a 
lynch mob or start a protest. Okay I need to vent I'm married to someone who
will not listen to me yet wants me to be the head of the house yet he wants full
control while I'm the bread winner. He wants control of the money yet he had
a payee since he's known for impulsive behavior yet he argues with me he's 
fine and it should be his job yet he manages to screw things up big time. So here
I am having to adjust to the role as man and woman. He can't  or won't talk on
the phone, he doesn't want to go out. He tried to dictate we should skip all bills
and fix a car and get him a computer next time I get paid. I argued back we 
should focus on moving first and keeping a roof over our heads and he kept on
arguing and trying to control the situation instead of using logic. When he doesn't
get his way I get yelled at or we end up in a screaming match and we both say crap
that's mean l…

Addiction....GET HELP NOW!

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Okay this is something different going to rant also encourage people who
are struggling to get help before it's too late. I'm going to address my personal
issues with booze myself when I was young and stupid plus my brother n laws
pill popping habit he refused to get help for. I don't think I was really addicted
to booze myself personally. I know I just did it to kill mental pain, have some fun,
and do things socially like go to bars as well as be an adult since i was in my lower
up to mid twenties drinking but i  stopped cold turkey and have no desire to drink
as now as an old fuddy duddy I guess I see it's a waste of time and pretty pointless.
Yes, I'm an old fart. Okay I'm joking here because i'm not encouraging anyone to
ever drink. It is a waste of money, time and a risk to your organs. Some people can
control it and to each their own while others not so much.

My personal experience with booze is I was young and wanted to do more adult 
things so i got into that t…

Grrrr people...

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Why do people on local facebook sale pages jerk you around even when you
state in the ad serious replies only do not waste my time?  Either buy the product
or don't bother to respond at all.  It's not that hard. I also hate the people that try
to haggle and lower prices to nothing.  Get lost with that bull crap idiots. Oh and 
then you get the people from out of town who look in Canton groups then message
you wanting for you to drive to Peoria to sell them a  five or ten dollar item and I'm
like Noooo not going to happen.  I end up telling some of these people off in a very 
manner because i'm honestly sick of dealing with people jerking me around.  I'll be
honest this lowers my faith in humanity and  increases my dislike for people even more
to the point I'll avoid people at all costs if i have to due to anxiety levels.  This is all my
husband's idea to sell random items in the house to bring in a few bucks to get by but
I get stucking having to deal with the people,…

Hitchcock-KJRY action....

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Someone in the Peoria facebook railroad group posted a picture of KJRY
with the F's in the lead tied up at Mapleton (Kolbe) preparing to depart west.
So once he posted a picture of it departing Mapleton I go sit at Rawalts which
is east of Canton and an old train stop of the TP&W which has a siding the KJRY
uses for storing cars. There was other railfans there which i rarely see any unless
something was going on or just some stray random railfan but there was like four
of them. Here i thought was going to have this spot to myself....nope. I don't care it's
actually a welcomed change. The last two cars were gondola's so the thought popped
in my head if they were going to be dropped off at the siding off Second Avenue in
Canton so Hitchcock Scrapyard will load them so KJ can pick up on another day.
I drive back into town and make the decision to stop at Second and good thing I did.
They passed then slowed then stopped and the conductor switched  the track so the
train backed in …