Howdy from Havana ,Illinois.

First off it would be rude of me not to give a shout out to my friends, a few relatives and my youtube subscribers which some have become friends.  These people make me feel better even if things are at their darkest. Some have taken kindness on me and helped me in more ways I can express. I  am greatful. I never want people to think I'm not. I might rant and rave sometimes but it's purely to get things off my chest and mind. I also might weird people out with my sarcasm and sense of humor no matter the  type of humor. It's how I cope with a tough life and adapt to changing situations. I have had bright times and then especially this past month very dark times probably the darkest times since my Dad passed away in 2007. A few facebook friends helped me  either with being kind, listening, advice and so forth. After the incident with Scott taking his life and Shaun trying to kill himself depressed about his brother several people have been kind to me which ...

Yesterday April 23rd after some errands and to get away from stress went to the Park to visit my children the geese and their new children. Oh who are we kidding this is the closest to kids I'll ever have due to not wanting to pass on my genetics down to any kids plus raise it with someone more mentally warped than I am. I know from personal experience having grown up in a house of mentally disturbed people it's not a good environment to bring up a child and whom are we kidding I'll never be able to make a stable suitable life for myself let alone a kid so this is the closest to kids I will ever get to having. I'm weird but atleast unlike some idiots i'm self aware and don't pop them out left and right then again probably infertile so...... My snark a side after watching and filming the geese I went to see if there would be a KJRY train that day and seen a Pioneer truck sitting  so figured there might be so wait a  few minutes and hear a horn. I phot...