Flood of memories of my Dad aka Santa.
Every years this time of year I think alot about certain things because at
one time they were a part of everyday life and sights and sounds I was so
used too. It's been ten years since my Dad died and somethings can trigger
certain memories or sounds not in a bad sense by all means but it feels so
weird to me sometimes. It seems like yesterday he was still around. I wish
I showed more appriciation when he was alive instead of these memorials
every year which I guess he'd probably feel good about but still I could have
been less of a brat growing up. I'm not even going to do that because there
is no point in could have, should have or would have because nothing changes.
I admit I was a brat, I appriciate and miss him now and keep his memory alive
so in a way he still lives on and not just because his DNA got passed down to me
but in memory and spirit.
The Santa Train thing the KJRY line holds every year everytime I see a Santa
wave I feel like saying Hi Dad and expect a HO HO HO. That is so weird too.
He played Santa for local children and families for fifty years retiring from it
a year before his death due to health reasons. He was my Dad, a coal miner,
a sandhog at Intermet Havana Foundry ,Santa and most of all a friend. When
I was a kid Dad was always gone on Christmas eve and some parts of Christmas
Day and I didn't really know why until i was ten and busted him putting presents
under the tree so he came clean. I have a faint memory of being really little like
maybe two or three and thought I reconized Dad in his Santa outfit by reconizing
his eyes. A relative shushed me up quickly and told me he wasn't. LOL. After
that didn't think much of it until after i found out at ten. My parents sat me down
and confessed about it and he had been doing that for decades. Mom always told
me he was working which was true. He had the HO HO Ho thing down to a
perfection and he could tell bible tales and the story of Jesus and Bethlaham
without stopping to think. I'm a scatter brain I probably couldn't remember all
that atleast not when faced with telling it to people and social speaking. My brain
farts when I talk to people sometimes so how he did that I give him credit. After
the year I found out I started riding with him on Christmas Eves when a cousin
would drive him around to the families he would play Santa for and that became
a tradition for years until my cousin started having health issues then I took
over the role as Santa's driver. I did that up until he retired from it well forced
too because he could no longer breath well in the hot suits and his health really
took a sharp turn. That was 2006 he would pass away the following year on
November 27, 2007 in hospice at Graham Hospital. I would trade places with
him anyday. He made people happy and had a good purpose and probably
could have been still been doing that today if health held up and he didn't
get dementia like his brother or something else genetic. Behold my future?
Oh joy....okay not going to bother with sarcastic humor. lol
He played Santa for schools and downtown Canton on the square for many
years and after he died I found some newspaper clippings I guess my
grandmother saved from the 1960's. He played Santa for TP&W Railroad
one year in 1965. If he or they did more than just 1965 I haven't the foggiest
idea. He got a letter from the Office of President Lyndon Johnson about his work
helping area families and kids and had several news paper clippings about him
or as him in Santa suit she saved over the years. I never got to ask about the TP&W
one wish I had of gotten a chance. I wish I asked about his Coal mine years when
he was alive too but it is what it is. I want his name to go on in memory and him
to be kept alive somehow. I have lots of memories and driving him around as Santa
also taught me how to drive on snow and ice from trial and error and his advice.
He also taught me how to drive by taking me to area backroads with a 1984 Mercury
we had in 1998 & 1999. He took me on quite a few lessons until I got good enough to go
take my driving test at the DMV. He started me off on gravel back roads with hills
and curves over around Breeds and east of there which scared the crap out of
me at first. He pretty much kept me on back roads but after a while started me
on the highways. It's those lessons will value and take with me to the grave myself.
People might die but their memory and spirit live on. I think the only other
person I was torn up about passing away wise was his mother who was kind.
She always made sure the family kids were fed and was a nurse so when i got
stung by a wasp nest ( don't ask dumb kid being dumb enough said) she aided that
and knew exactly what to do. I miss some of these times and wish I could relive
some of it also do things different having the knowledge i do now.
Anytime i hear another person as Santa or see one I get the urge to say Hi Dad
and I know he's gone but man it's such a weird feeling and maybe a little messed
up like I haven't moved on from his death. I don't know. If I ever say anything to
someone playing Santa like Hey Dad I will crawl into the darkest hole and hide for
an eternity. It has never happened but man I'd be so embarrassed. I don't always
think before I speak or act on emotions than logic. Deep down I know he's gone
but his memories are still around and will live on. I love and miss my Dad and we
all made alot of mistakes in dealing with things and life. Me especially. I guess that's
an apology in my own way. I dedicated the Canton Santa video I did yesterday to him
because there is a clear shot of a Santa on the Caboose waving. I thought to myself
Hey Dad....god that's so messed up. I wonder what a psychiatrist would say hmmm.....
RIP Dad... Santa....Bill May ( July 7, 1941- November 27, 2007). Holidays are hard
to deal with sometimes but i just try to remember the good memories and not the
last moments of his life. Damn Cancer.
In memory....
one time they were a part of everyday life and sights and sounds I was so
used too. It's been ten years since my Dad died and somethings can trigger
certain memories or sounds not in a bad sense by all means but it feels so
weird to me sometimes. It seems like yesterday he was still around. I wish
I showed more appriciation when he was alive instead of these memorials
every year which I guess he'd probably feel good about but still I could have
been less of a brat growing up. I'm not even going to do that because there
is no point in could have, should have or would have because nothing changes.
I admit I was a brat, I appriciate and miss him now and keep his memory alive
so in a way he still lives on and not just because his DNA got passed down to me
but in memory and spirit.
The Santa Train thing the KJRY line holds every year everytime I see a Santa
wave I feel like saying Hi Dad and expect a HO HO HO. That is so weird too.
He played Santa for local children and families for fifty years retiring from it
a year before his death due to health reasons. He was my Dad, a coal miner,
a sandhog at Intermet Havana Foundry ,Santa and most of all a friend. When
I was a kid Dad was always gone on Christmas eve and some parts of Christmas
Day and I didn't really know why until i was ten and busted him putting presents
under the tree so he came clean. I have a faint memory of being really little like
maybe two or three and thought I reconized Dad in his Santa outfit by reconizing
his eyes. A relative shushed me up quickly and told me he wasn't. LOL. After
that didn't think much of it until after i found out at ten. My parents sat me down
and confessed about it and he had been doing that for decades. Mom always told
me he was working which was true. He had the HO HO Ho thing down to a
perfection and he could tell bible tales and the story of Jesus and Bethlaham
without stopping to think. I'm a scatter brain I probably couldn't remember all
that atleast not when faced with telling it to people and social speaking. My brain
farts when I talk to people sometimes so how he did that I give him credit. After
the year I found out I started riding with him on Christmas Eves when a cousin
would drive him around to the families he would play Santa for and that became
a tradition for years until my cousin started having health issues then I took
over the role as Santa's driver. I did that up until he retired from it well forced
too because he could no longer breath well in the hot suits and his health really
took a sharp turn. That was 2006 he would pass away the following year on
November 27, 2007 in hospice at Graham Hospital. I would trade places with
him anyday. He made people happy and had a good purpose and probably
could have been still been doing that today if health held up and he didn't
get dementia like his brother or something else genetic. Behold my future?
Oh joy....okay not going to bother with sarcastic humor. lol
He played Santa for schools and downtown Canton on the square for many
years and after he died I found some newspaper clippings I guess my
grandmother saved from the 1960's. He played Santa for TP&W Railroad
one year in 1965. If he or they did more than just 1965 I haven't the foggiest
idea. He got a letter from the Office of President Lyndon Johnson about his work
helping area families and kids and had several news paper clippings about him
or as him in Santa suit she saved over the years. I never got to ask about the TP&W
one wish I had of gotten a chance. I wish I asked about his Coal mine years when
he was alive too but it is what it is. I want his name to go on in memory and him
to be kept alive somehow. I have lots of memories and driving him around as Santa
also taught me how to drive on snow and ice from trial and error and his advice.
He also taught me how to drive by taking me to area backroads with a 1984 Mercury
we had in 1998 & 1999. He took me on quite a few lessons until I got good enough to go
take my driving test at the DMV. He started me off on gravel back roads with hills
and curves over around Breeds and east of there which scared the crap out of
me at first. He pretty much kept me on back roads but after a while started me
on the highways. It's those lessons will value and take with me to the grave myself.
People might die but their memory and spirit live on. I think the only other
person I was torn up about passing away wise was his mother who was kind.
She always made sure the family kids were fed and was a nurse so when i got
stung by a wasp nest ( don't ask dumb kid being dumb enough said) she aided that
and knew exactly what to do. I miss some of these times and wish I could relive
some of it also do things different having the knowledge i do now.
Anytime i hear another person as Santa or see one I get the urge to say Hi Dad
and I know he's gone but man it's such a weird feeling and maybe a little messed
up like I haven't moved on from his death. I don't know. If I ever say anything to
someone playing Santa like Hey Dad I will crawl into the darkest hole and hide for
an eternity. It has never happened but man I'd be so embarrassed. I don't always
think before I speak or act on emotions than logic. Deep down I know he's gone
but his memories are still around and will live on. I love and miss my Dad and we
all made alot of mistakes in dealing with things and life. Me especially. I guess that's
an apology in my own way. I dedicated the Canton Santa video I did yesterday to him
because there is a clear shot of a Santa on the Caboose waving. I thought to myself
Hey Dad....god that's so messed up. I wonder what a psychiatrist would say hmmm.....
RIP Dad... Santa....Bill May ( July 7, 1941- November 27, 2007). Holidays are hard
to deal with sometimes but i just try to remember the good memories and not the
last moments of his life. Damn Cancer.
In memory....
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