Music is a soulmate people fail to understand...
I'm going to be up front about it and was thinking tonight just how much
music has helped me cope in so many ways either through break ups, bad
relationships, health issues, lonliness, death and just life. Rarely do I meet
people who I can connect too or relate too so I'm the odd duck out hence
why I'm such an isolated person. People don't get the pain I've been though,
life experiences or get my sense of humor. Maybe two or three people on the
entire planet some what has a general idea what or who I am. Music has been
important in helping me cope with things in bad times or when I feel alone
which is pretty much all the time especially latley. My music, movies and Tv
shows I watch all depend on the mood I am in. If I'm not in the mood for it I
simply cannot focus plain and simple. It's hard to explain and yes I am a very
very weird individual. Probably why most of society hates me I don't play by
their rules or conform to customs or really fit in anywhere. I have been fighting
that battle since childhood. It's a no win battle I can never even get halfway up
the hill.
Now Music that helps me cope it varies on what mood I am. I do not and will not
listen to happy cheerful music because my life has not been filled with happiness.
Happiness and pure joy has been very rare occurances with me. I have been dealt
with nothing but rejection, abandonment, abuse and so forth in life and have felt
I have never fit in with any group of people. Even with railfanners I feel I'm even
the odd one out. I don't relate to people and making conversation is horrible for me
because I suck so much at it especially the first few times. People interaction isn't
like everyone elses I interact when i have too and keep to myself any other time but to
be fair i have to babysit a certain person who shall remain nameless but it is what it is.
Music helps cope with all of that and as much as i like other music genres when I'm in
an angry, depressed,lonley, lost,hurt,betrayed and full of rage mood it's always Rock and
alternative rock I listen too to deal with it. Country doesn't have a lot if any really really
angry songs and neither does Pop music. My husband thinks I should listen to upbeat,
happy pop songs and I'm like but I'm not happy also it's not who I am. I cannot relate
on a personal level to happy songs. Happiness has been really rare in my life so why would
anyone expect me to connect with that sappy crap or the sappy love songs. These rock
songs have helped me through many life's struggles and will continue to do so.
What people fail to understand I'm not only listening to the beat and the sound but also
more in it for the lyrics and how someone carries those lyrics. Some can blow a song totally
away then others not so much. The not so much ones I never listen to again after a few tries.
I relate to content on the lyrics alone because it sometimes expresses exactly how I feel the
moment I am feeling those emotions. Along with that there are tv shows can relate too on
a personal level. People in the 1990's atleast some liked Full House and the Cosby show....
not I. I thought it was a bunch of fake,wholesome and happy garbage that isn't the least
bit realistic to the average family. The average family are most likely dysfunctional and
offbeat like The Bundy's (Married with children) and the Conner's (Roseanne). Those
are shows about families could relate too because we were weird like them with the wise
cracks, smart ass comments, sarcasm and plenty of dysfunction. They didn't need cheesey
lines like Full House or rely on a false sense of family, happiness or safety. Alot of people
want to live in a fake world where everything is sheltered and they live in a bubble while
some of us just deal with the bad hand given to us and deal with family dysfunctions the
best you knew how at the time. I look at other families like they're so perfect and wholesome
then wonder what skeletons they have in their closet. Atleast we were real enough to not hide
ours. It was all out in the open and I've carried that motto into life be honest about every
thing. If people hate you they hate you or if you offend them that's on them not a reflection
of me which is why I'm rarely concerned about offending. I think it's funny sometimes. Okay
okay I got a little off subject but the same rules apply both shows and music can relate to some
content because it hits close to home on how I feel, act or past or current experiences. Whom
ever stated Music is soul is damn dead on right!
music has helped me cope in so many ways either through break ups, bad
relationships, health issues, lonliness, death and just life. Rarely do I meet
people who I can connect too or relate too so I'm the odd duck out hence
why I'm such an isolated person. People don't get the pain I've been though,
life experiences or get my sense of humor. Maybe two or three people on the
entire planet some what has a general idea what or who I am. Music has been
important in helping me cope with things in bad times or when I feel alone
which is pretty much all the time especially latley. My music, movies and Tv
shows I watch all depend on the mood I am in. If I'm not in the mood for it I
simply cannot focus plain and simple. It's hard to explain and yes I am a very
very weird individual. Probably why most of society hates me I don't play by
their rules or conform to customs or really fit in anywhere. I have been fighting
that battle since childhood. It's a no win battle I can never even get halfway up
the hill.
Now Music that helps me cope it varies on what mood I am. I do not and will not
listen to happy cheerful music because my life has not been filled with happiness.
Happiness and pure joy has been very rare occurances with me. I have been dealt
with nothing but rejection, abandonment, abuse and so forth in life and have felt
I have never fit in with any group of people. Even with railfanners I feel I'm even
the odd one out. I don't relate to people and making conversation is horrible for me
because I suck so much at it especially the first few times. People interaction isn't
like everyone elses I interact when i have too and keep to myself any other time but to
be fair i have to babysit a certain person who shall remain nameless but it is what it is.
Music helps cope with all of that and as much as i like other music genres when I'm in
an angry, depressed,lonley, lost,hurt,betrayed and full of rage mood it's always Rock and
alternative rock I listen too to deal with it. Country doesn't have a lot if any really really
angry songs and neither does Pop music. My husband thinks I should listen to upbeat,
happy pop songs and I'm like but I'm not happy also it's not who I am. I cannot relate
on a personal level to happy songs. Happiness has been really rare in my life so why would
anyone expect me to connect with that sappy crap or the sappy love songs. These rock
songs have helped me through many life's struggles and will continue to do so.
What people fail to understand I'm not only listening to the beat and the sound but also
more in it for the lyrics and how someone carries those lyrics. Some can blow a song totally
away then others not so much. The not so much ones I never listen to again after a few tries.
I relate to content on the lyrics alone because it sometimes expresses exactly how I feel the
moment I am feeling those emotions. Along with that there are tv shows can relate too on
a personal level. People in the 1990's atleast some liked Full House and the Cosby show....
not I. I thought it was a bunch of fake,wholesome and happy garbage that isn't the least
bit realistic to the average family. The average family are most likely dysfunctional and
offbeat like The Bundy's (Married with children) and the Conner's (Roseanne). Those
are shows about families could relate too because we were weird like them with the wise
cracks, smart ass comments, sarcasm and plenty of dysfunction. They didn't need cheesey
lines like Full House or rely on a false sense of family, happiness or safety. Alot of people
want to live in a fake world where everything is sheltered and they live in a bubble while
some of us just deal with the bad hand given to us and deal with family dysfunctions the
best you knew how at the time. I look at other families like they're so perfect and wholesome
then wonder what skeletons they have in their closet. Atleast we were real enough to not hide
ours. It was all out in the open and I've carried that motto into life be honest about every
thing. If people hate you they hate you or if you offend them that's on them not a reflection
of me which is why I'm rarely concerned about offending. I think it's funny sometimes. Okay
okay I got a little off subject but the same rules apply both shows and music can relate to some
content because it hits close to home on how I feel, act or past or current experiences. Whom
ever stated Music is soul is damn dead on right!
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