I like my alone time....

This is just an explanation not that I really should need one it's my damn
preference on why I railfan or even do other stuff alone and it's not all just
anxiety either.  I like to have my car to myself so I can have privacy, not have
someone tell me how to drive, rush me or even slow me down.  I like to go at
my own pace and if i get bored i go else where without having to take in other
people's consideration. I also like to put my trach cleaning kits, scanner and 
other things in the passenger seat for easy access.  I also do not appriciate the
back seat drivers I have encountered with family and what not if i want to 
look for any railway activity. I do not like being told how i should or should not 
feel and to be frankly I don't care for people who talk to much because it works
on my anxiety. My husband when he's manic never shuts the fuck up and imagine
being a driver having to watch out for idiots on the road then someone beside you
babbling about what the hell ever.  I am for the most part believe it or not a quiet
person and I don't talk a alot at home. I do get manic spells  or when i'm really 
nervous i talk alot but for the most part not a big talkers. If people and family
cannot accept me for me then that's their problem and maybe it's crap like that
is the reason why I'd rather have my peace. I'm actually directing this at multiple
people.  Also the hobby is a way for me to escape  dealing with people's crap and 
gives me the much needed alone time i need from time to time. Naturally people
think i'm a selfish asshole but I have generally found people who find me that way
are people who got on my nerves and i told off instead of putting up with their crap.

I won't lie there was a time i wanted to be part of a group and railfan with other people
but now a days it's like I don't care I need me time. Also hours at a time in the same 
vehicle with any person will work on the nerves especially if want to stop and do your
thing. The last coal train my mom was with me she complained and I was like yup I'm
so done with people. If i want to  engage in my hobby i'll do it in my car. I will also add 
that it is my car my rules. I don't like being dictate on what i can do or where to go in my
own god damn car.  If I want to catch a train i will but if i have to take anyone with me
anywhere i'll just avoid looking for anything so my fault i guess. Never again will I have
anyone in my vehicle when railfanning, going to museums or doing anything for fun.  Oh
I'm sure i have my flaws that annoys others.  I've been accused for being moody by a few
before but each person who said that annoyed me some way or another.  I'm nice to people
who don't irk me and not shy with my abrasive nature if someone does.  I work better alone
anyway. I can think straight, not have distractions or another person to worry about and
my total complete freedom. It's my choice and preference.  If I'm an asshole then ask why?
Okay to be fair i do have bad days but i'd still just have my vehicle to myself for some free
time away from any annoyances.....other words people....especially family!