Addiction....GET HELP NOW!

Okay this is something different going to rant also encourage people who
are struggling to get help before it's too late. I'm going to address my personal
issues with booze myself when I was young and stupid plus my brother n laws
pill popping habit he refused to get help for. I don't think I was really addicted
to booze myself personally. I know I just did it to kill mental pain, have some fun,
and do things socially like go to bars as well as be an adult since i was in my lower
up to mid twenties drinking but i  stopped cold turkey and have no desire to drink
as now as an old fuddy duddy I guess I see it's a waste of time and pretty pointless.
Yes, I'm an old fart. Okay I'm joking here because i'm not encouraging anyone to
ever drink. It is a waste of money, time and a risk to your organs. Some people can
control it and to each their own while others not so much.

My personal experience with booze is I was young and wanted to do more adult 
things so i got into that then used it to medicate depression and lonliness which only
made matters worse. My moods esculated, my temper became  worse at times and I
had  hangovers and vomited. I do not miss those days especially the daily  puking or 
headaches.  Rum and coke, wild turkey, southern comfort and hard stuff really high
lighted my temper and I was a mean drunk. I do not miss that. I more often enough
drank because i was depressed. You would think I would learn from my two drunken
parents when growing up not to do that.  Nope I'm dumb as a box of rocks. I've also
repeated alot of their mistakes including an iffy marriage on the rocks. I don't learn.
I'm  being sarcastic not putting myself down but it seems like history keeps repeating
at times because I do not learn or it takes experience to learn like with the booze crap.
I had to learn for myself so now avoid booze at all cost. I have no desire for that lifestyle
anymore and I would never recommend it especially if you're young and think hey I'm
an adult now let's try this. Yeah stupid decision unless you can control it i guess. I can be
impulsive and let my moods get the best of me so I wasn't a responsible drunk that really
controlled myself. After I quit drinking a year later would seek treatment for the mental
issues and put on medication. I don't like the lamictal it upsets my stomach but the celexa
and ativan help but I take it responsibly. I have no desire to pop pills for a high. I tried to
kill myself when i was 16 on a bottle of aspirin and got very very sick. I thought i'd just
pass out and die. Oh hell no an entire day of puking, sweating and feeling hot, shakiness,
fatigue and so forth. I hate that feeling so never again did I try that or get into drugs but
I did try pot for a short time around 18 or 19. It didn't do nothing for me so I really don't
see the appeal. I however took up smoking at 15. Dad started buying me smokes at 16 as
he didn't want me buying off people on the streets for safety reasons plus he started around
the same age. He knew I was buying off a guy hanging around the high school plus Dad
would leave cigarettes on his night stand and i'd swipe some of them and he knew it so
he just figured it was better just to buy them.

Dad had always been a smoker so it's no surprise i picked it up. I started  because a friend
at the time and i was hanging around the porch after dark one night and he gave me a smoke
and said try it so i did and mom came out and busted us. Are you two smoking? Blah blah
blah. Also the same friend broke curfew with and got busted shooting off fireworks in a
cemetery....parents weren't pleased brought home in the back of a squad car. I got  grounded
for it.  Speaking of drinking my parents drank heavily til I was twelve and it took an incident
to make them quit plus they seperated for a few months. I don't ever encourage drinking and
if people have a problem go seek treatment for your sake and your families. Dad was in AA
for a while court ordered so that helped. Now when I met my brother n law Scott and his
Dad Steve both were drinking heavily and Scott would stay in his room playing video games
and drinking all the time. Yes a grown man in his thirties but i digress so moving on. I did 
get into it with both once or twice as I didn't care for heavy drinkers and called them drunks.
I probably could have kept my mouth shut but it is what it is.  Now Scott quit drinking then
replaced his habit with pill popping. They put him on Vicodin and Gabypetin for his back
issues so he got addicted to that. I don't see the appeal I've been on both after surgeries and
they did nothing but put me to sleep. I don't get the getting high part. Then later on Scott
would make this poppy seed drink which he bought a bunch of poppy seeds and lemon juice
and mixed it. I didn't get that but my husband would drink it too. I tried a sip and it's the
nastiest tasting crap imaginable so I also don't get that. He got  hospitalized last year for
an overdose. Scott has had several overdoses on pills or poppy seeds where they hospitalized
him and saved his life but he would never learn from it. He wouldn't seek treatment and he
would sneak pills behind our backs and hide them. We could tell he was high but didn't 
know where he was keeping them or where he was taking them at. 

I too be honest got so fed up with it I did threaten him if he didn't stop he needs to find
somewhere else to live and also told him to get a god damn job and stop relying on others
for financial support. He did maintain a car so I do give him credit though he procrastinated
the past 6 months  prior to his death. Evidently he was sneaking pills. He  had his demons
it's obvious and he had  back issues they were going to do surgery on so some of it I can 
kind of see but doing it to get high I do not support. If people have a problem they need to
get to a rehab center as soon as possible if not for themselves but think about their families.
The addict becomes a problem and a major stress factor to their family members. Then if
they die the family is stuck straightening out their mess then the family ends up resenting
them for not seeking treatment. I have those feelings. I also just wish he got help he needed
and was willing to try to beat it but he refused. Sympathy is hit and miss with me here with
that. I'm a mixed between sad, angry and resentful. He did it to himself so no one else is to
blame. He refused help. It's on him the choices he made and no one elses. Our marital
issues between his brother and I and our constant yelling might have stressed him out but
he made the choice. He had depression problems too and his doctor took him off his anxiety
medication which not sure why unless he was abusing it.  It's hard telling.

Now the pills he had in his system the coroner told us about was Imodium, Benedry and 
Krempton (?). How do you get a high off anti diahreah medication? I don't get that but
also heard people self medicate for withdraws from narcotics. I noticed once his vicodin
and Gabby was gone he's use Imodium. We tried to tell him to slow down, stop and seek
treatment but he wouldn't listen so again it's on him the choices he made. I guess what the
coroner said he had organ damage which is no shock. Scott complained about being sick
alot and there you have it folks the cause of that. I wouldn't be surprised if he had some
brain damage too because he became more forgetful over time. It's not a diss or anything
just a suspicion. So in a decade he traded in his alcohol addiction to pill popping and he
didn't see a problem with this? His brother made excuses for him but in reality it's all
on Scott what he did in his life. I'll admit i've made stupid decisions growing up and no
one is to blame but me....I drank, had pre marital sex and took up smoking. It's on me and
my crap decisions is partly the cause of some physical health issues then worked in some
unhealthy filthy environments where you breathed in a bunch of crap and coughed up and
had black crap in your nose so no doubts the lungs got blasted. Intermet Havana Foundry
I'm looking your direction. Xpac had saw dust, dust from pallets and also wasn't the cleanest
of environments to penetrate ones lungs. Dad had breathing issues from the coal mine,
smoking and Intermet and died from it. I have breathing, lung and a tracheostomey from
various crap and poor decision. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree and history once
again repeats. I'm a slow learner what can I say...monkey see monkey do. Sorry Dad and 
Mom but I learned from your bad examples just a tad too late but still....


I wish some of these drugs Scott took weren't sold over the counter like Imodium and even
though you need to show ID I think it should be banned from over the counter. Then again
if someone gets a prescription from a doctor whoses to say they wouldn't abuse that so there
are pro's and con's of banning things. It's not like banning things ever stops people or age 
restrictions. I found ways to buy cigarettes when I was a kid so age restrictions does nothing
if someone is determined. My decision my bad bad decision so I own up to that but the point
is it was easy to get if you had connections as if i was the only kid smoking in 9th grade. Pfft
quite a bunch did and would skip class like me to do so, smoke in the school bathroom or
just plum skipped school entirely. What i decided was all on me like what Scott did was
entirely on him. Think about your actions on yourself or for other people. Do addicts really
think it's fun for relatives to clean up their mess especially after they die? Nope all they care
is to get their next high even though once you get hooked it's hard to beat and the urges is
hard to resist so there is sympathy but also at the same time it angers me what position the
addict puts family in especially if they won't listen and sneak behind peoples back and flat
out lie to them. It's hard to not be angry when someone constantly lies and does things behind
backs. If you have a problem think of yourself and family and just seek help before it's too
late. A person will eventually get to the point beyond help and they can often die from it.

If you or a relative has a problem here is a hotline to call do it before it's too late...




My brother n law Scott about a year and a half before he passed away from a pill popping
habit. Seek help now.

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